it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

I think I started my Christmas hype too early. I started before Thanksgiving, and now I don't feel like it's even Christmas time anymore. For instance, today my manager brought in a few miniature Christmas trees and other decorations, and I thought to myself "Why are you bringing these in so late? They will be up for such a short time before you have to take them down." But then I realized that today is only December 6th, the beginning of December, and Christmas is three whole weeks away. I guess that is what happens when you celebrate Christmas for two months.

On another note, in relation to my last post, I worked out five, yes FIVE, times last week. I am really proud of myself for even waking up Saturday and Sunday morning to get in a workout before I went on with the rest of my day. I'm upping my time on the elliptical, but I'm letting myself slack in other areas. Must.keep.up.

I read Audrey Hepburn's Wikipedia today. Why? Because I spend too much time on Facebook, and a friend posted the link for some reason. I wish I had grown up in Britain and trained in ballet and painted and was cultured like her and (how I imagine) every European is. Unfortunately, I am not. My culture is watching The Real Houswives (of New York, New Jersey, Orange County, and Beverly Hills...not a fan of D.C. and Atlanta...but I digress) and checking Tumblr updates. I hate that everything is so centered around the internet, and that I spend countless hours a day on it. I get the irony here.

This weekend I will finally get to see a few of the film projects I worked on this semester. I am excited, and wary, because I self-critique like no other and also fear that others will think I'm a sham and can't actually act. But I need to stop self-depracating, because I had a great acting workshop this weekend and actually feel a lot better about myself.

I wish I could stick to one topic, or theme, in these posts.

work it

So I’ve decided I will get into the routine of working out every day. In September I bought a year membership for 24 Hour Fitness, and after about two weeks of using it, I stopped for the past 2 1/2 months. I had a lot of personal things going on during that time, but that’s no excuse. This week I finally went back. Though I get so bored, and sometimes it hurts (so good), I can do this. I will never be “in the mood” to work out, at least not while I’m still so out of shape, so I will have to force myself to do it every day. If I can’t make it to the gym, I have several videos to choose from: P90, Hip-Hop Abs, Pussycat Dolls, Pilates, and Yoga. My freshmah year of high school I worked out every single day and watched what I ate. I have to admit, it became an obsession, and I don’t want to get back to that point. But I want to feel better about myself. I want to look good, I want to be able to walk up stairs without being out of breath, I want to be able to jog for more than 5 minutes, I want to gain my flexibility back, I don’t want to be tired all the time, and I just want to feel good. I’ve been trying to watch what I eat, limiting what I do take in, and avoiding sodas. I just feel like eating healthy is so much more expensive. My other problem: it is really hard to force myself to get up early to work out, and since I don’t want to work out in the middle of the day when I have things to do, I save my work out for nighttime. The past two nights I have worked out super late and showered after, and…then I can’t sleep. I guess I never realized how much energy working out can give you. I used to work out at night all of the time, but I guess since this is such a change for me now, it is really giving me too much energy to sleep. But I need more energy! So I’m glad that I can already feel it working…even if I don’t get sleep. -__- I WILL STAY MOTIVATED.