I miss writing.

Currently I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love, and though I'm still at the beginning, it is already inspiring me.

It is inspiring me to start writing again because I haven't in so long. Growing up my favorite subject was English and not to brag or anything, but in elementary it is safe to say I was one of the best writers in my class(es). I loved writing fiction, and as I grew older, I made the transition to more observational writing, such as column writing or blogging. Other than acting or photography, I would love to work for a magazine. I didn't take the journalism route in school because frankly I think journalism classes are nothing short of boring (not bashing any journalism majors...it just wasn't for me). I took a journalism class in high school simply so I could work on the yearbook, and after one semester, my teacher allowed me to skip the last semester of journalism and bumped me up to being on the yearbook staff.

I want to start keeping up with this blog...with my life. I am going through a lot of transitions in my life right now after graduating college in May. I feel like I am stuck in a rut working at part time jobs that aren't satisfying me. There is so much I want to do...like enroll in acting workshops and classes, learn to tap dance, start doing yoga, etc., but there just isn't enough time in the day or enough money to spare. Today is the first day of classes for UT students, and since one of my jobs is on campus, I still rode the bus with all the students on their way to class. It is actually kind of depressing. I am finished so early. I'm 20 years old, and I am already getting depressed about the reality of the real world. I feel like I'm jumping around so much in this one paragraph and that this jumping around mirrors my life right now. My schedule is too structured that I can't find time to fit anything else in my life besides working. But I have to keep at these part time jobs in order to afford my bills each month. I have been keeping at these jobs all summer, and I felt like summer just flew right past me. It's already the first day of school...well, not my first day of school.

I have wanted to learn to tap dance for a long time now. My freshman year (wow, already three years ago) I took a couple of classes downtown. I didn't take these classes in consecutive weeks, so I already got way behind and defeated, and I didn't continue taking classes. I feel a little embarrassed for wanting to learn something at the age of 20 that most people begin learning at the age of 8. I also feel defeated at the fact that it takes years to even become "good" at it.

I need to relax, and that is something I have a really difficult time doing. My freshman year of college my back never hurt because I never felt stress. I never had a back massage in my life up until a year or two ago. My back is hurting as we speak, and it does so every day. I have horrible posture, I know, but it has to be something else. I have to beg my boyfriend to massage my back every day, which I know would annoy anyone. But I don't know how to deal with this pain otherwise. Thus, in order to help relieve pain and relieve stress, I want to start taking yoga classes. The only problem is finding a place that has a schedule that fits with mine. That might be impossible, so I am thinking I will have to buy an at home DVD. This in itself is stressing me out. I stress about trying to relax. Go figure.

My summer album of photos is also quite small in comparison to other months of my life. I worked so much (and really, that is all I did), that I didn't have the opportunity to take photos. I have been trying to play catch up these past couple weeks, but I can't help but feel saddened by the fact that those few months of my life are undocumented. I would also love to start diving into headshot photography...though I am a little scared about doing so.

I think this is enough about my rut of a life for one blog entry. Tune in next time to hear about my declining self-confidence and Los Angeles worries!