fo twentyyy

I am celebrating this day not for the reason most people who celebrate this day ... celebrate it ... but because it marks two years that Whitney and I have officially been together. Unfortunately we only had time for a quick dinner at Olive Garden since he has a test tomorrow to study for, so I will finally write a new post.

This photo is literally from when it all began. Late that night aka super early in the morning is when we started dating. :)

I am so glad and relieved to finally have booked some roles in a few student films. These aren't paid roles, and I'm pretty positive they won't capture the attention of Glee's casting directors, but hey, it's a start. I mostly want to build up my film experience for my resume and get some good footage for a reel. Anyway, the weekend before last I shot a scene from The Time Traveler's Wife. I haven't seen the movie, but apparently this scene (though in the screenplay) didn't make the cut for the actual film, so I really was originating the character in this scene. I enjoy so much being in front of the camera, and though there is nothing like performing on stage in front of a live audience, I know film is where I want to be and where I will be. I can't forget to mention that of course I was playing a sixteen year old because apparently I don't look any older.

This past weekend I shot a film adaptation of the comic book, Y: The Last Man. The comic book's character, Agent 355, is a tough-assassin-bodyguard-black-woman, so of course, I fit the role perfectly...
Needless to say, I was happy that someone saw me as someone other than a twelve year old. We also got to do something cool with makeup effects, so be sure to check that out once I post the link!

I also booked a role in a short film that an MFA student and a couple others are creating. It's a small role, but it's screen time, and they may want to use a set cast and crew for all of their future projects, so hey, more roles that will possibly just be given to me. We will be shooting that this upcoming weekend. Busy busy busy.

On a side note, I have 2 1/2 weeks left of school...forever. 4 1/2 weeks until graduation. EX.CI.TED.

I wish I had some production stills to include in this post, but I don't. Maybe later.

sunday monday happy day

That is a lie...because Sunday and Monday are rarely happy (unless we win our softball game like we did last week!). Sunday you think about...and sometimes do...all the homework that is going to be due. You spend the day dreading Monday, and then Monday comes, and your dread becomes reality. I have something due in three of my classes and a foxtrot evaluation in another this week. I tried to finally cure myself of the chronic disease, procrastination, that I have been dealing with my entire life, and I started working on one of my assignments last week. Today is Sunday, and I still haven't completed it. I am currently at work and brought all of this homework to complete, but I have been sitting here for two hours and haven't started any of it. Good job, Sam.

Anyway, I just heard back from the casting directors about their choices in my headshots, but...I already told the photographer my choices and got them back. It had already been over three weeks since I got them taken, so I didn't want to wait longer; I also wanted to have them to start submitting again. Unfortunately, the casting directors' picks didn't match any of my choices, which is great. But I am happy with them, so I think that's what really matters. I've posted them everywhere else, but in case you STILL haven't seen them, here are my four looks:

I recently submitted for a few student films, and I'm hoping I can nab (sp?) some of those because I desperately need to add film experience to my resume and get footage for an eventual reel. I was really excited about a casting call I saw a couple of months ago for a commercial shooting in Dallas, but I wanted to wait until I got my new headshots taken to submit (since the submission deadline said April 14th). Well, I checked the site the other day, and the casting call is no longer listed. I have no idea if there are any other means for me to submit. BUT, I am going to call a casting director tomorrow about getting the sides for a TV pilot on TBS. They are doing a nationwide casting search, so if I can send in a taped audition, that would be awesome.

Oh, and though I have been changing my mind on my post-graduation plans, right now I am settling on signing a six month lease in Austin. If I'm accomplishing nothing in my life, I will head out to California in January. I can always decide last minute because I'm sure I will have a place to stay with either my grandparents or my uncle in Orange County.

curiouser and curiouser

This past Friday was the most stressful day of my life. I had my first music test at 11am, and because I am starting to believe I legitimately have ADD, I didn't get enough studying done during the week. The week before I had also purchased my ticket to see the midnight premiere of Alice in Wonderland in IMAX 3-D because hellooo, everyone knows how obsessed I am with it, and I've waited over 2 years. That probably wasn't the best idea because I didn't get my studying done, and designating 3 1/2 hours to waiting in line for the movie and seeing the movie, took out of my studying time and my sleep. I was exhausted, but I went with Whitney, and of course I really liked it. But I do wish two things: 1) the movie had included more of the story and characters from the original and 2) that Tim Burton had waited a couple of years and cast me as Alice instead. I loved Johnny Depp, and I loved hearing lines that I myself had when I played Alice in a theatre production. Oh, and might I also add that "young Alice" was beautiful. And I don't mean that in a creepy way; she was just a beautiful little girl, and I really enjoyed the flashback.

Anyway, I got less than 6 hours of sleep before I woke up to continue studying. I don't like coffee, so I mixed some with hot chocolate to wake up and did some cramming with Jule. We both almost had a panic attack before we walked into the classroom, and after 50 minutes of rushing to get the test completed, I was done. The moment I finished taking my music test (which I believe I survived, thank God), was the happiest moment of my life. Then for three hours straight I was bombarded with over 70 customers at work. So that really sucked. But then I ordered my graduation announcements and took a little nap and went to see Fiddler on the Roof. I had never even seen the movie verson, and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would; it was actually funny. I also just read a book for my history class about a Russian Jewish girl, so I could draw correlations between the stories.

Oh, and I finally got professional headshots taken with Steven Noreyko. I sent the web gallery link to the casting directors I worked for this past summer, so I am waiting to hear their input before I decide on my final four images for him to retouch. I only wish I was better at taking "serious" photos, aka photos where I didn't smile. I had a lot of smiling pictures to choose from, but I was more picky about my non-smiling ones. I wasn't satisfied with my last "serious" look, so I asked him if we could shoot more. I was hesitant to ask, but since I was paying $250 for these headshots, I asked.

Once I choose the images and he retouches them, I will get started on submitting to agents. I'm not entirely sure what to include in my cover letter, so I "tweeted" to an agent who is the head of the commercial department at Abrams (the talent agency I interned with this past summer), and he said "Just basic info, but if you know an agent personally, you can call and talk about it. hint." It was a nice little surprise that 1) he actually remembers me 2) he follows me on twitter as well and 3) is willing to take the time to talk to me and help me out. I really appreciate that.

Since I don't have rehearsals anymore I have been working as much as I can. It looks good on my paycheck. :)

bittersweet

My last college show ended on Sunday. After a busy opening weekend, with a performance Friday evening, two performances Saturday, and a matinee on Sunday, I was exhausted and happy to have finished the run. But the thing about theatre is...once it's over, it's over. You rehearse for weeks, putting so much time and work into the show, you perform it a few times, and that's it. If somebody didn't see it, he/she missed his/her chance. Even if it premieres on Broadway and has a revival years later, it will never be the same show. So to all my friends that said they were attending...and didn't...you missed out. It is sad to think that I'll never be "Jilly" again.

Now it's time for some nice rest and relaxation. Maybe. I finally scheduled headshots with a professional photographer for this upcoming Sunday. I'm so worried about how they will turn out, so I need to do a lot of planning beforehand to figure out my wardrobe, hair, and makeup for my four looks. Let's hope these land me an agent.

On my busy Sunday, which included waking up at 8am to eat breakfast with my brother, his fiancee, their baby (who I have only seen once...a year ago...when she was 3 weeks old), and my sister, performing at the matinee and evening shows of Blue Point, I also auditioned for a UT directing workshop in between. It was for a scene from Away We Go, a movie I have fortunately seen and very much enjoyed. I hope I get cast because I need more "film" to add to my resume and more material for an eventual reel.

Sunday was nice because I felt like I finally had a break...well, after I woke up late and rushed to the theater to make it to my call time. But after the final performance, and resting on the couch watching 16 and Pregnant, and Whitney taking me out to dinner at the new 24 Diner to celebrate the end of the show's run, I slept and didn't worry about having to do anything. I almost forgot that I still have to go to school, and that realization sucked. But I have a few months of school left...forever...so I can drift through the rest of the semester, focusing on auditioning for films and getting an agent before I'm thrown out into the real world.

build me up, buttercup baby

I enjoy baking because it gives me such an easy sense of accomplishment. There is no other thing that can make me feel so successful so quickly. Not only do I feel the rewards of baking when I come to the end product, but I don't have to face pressure during the baking because the pressure is all on the recipe...and not me. I also don't have to consider whether someone is lying to me when he/she says my cupcakes are delicious. If they keep eating the baked goods, I'll know they like them.

I hope that made sense.

I have to keep things like baking in my life in order for me to stay sane. The rewards of acting only come after audition after audition after audition when someone finally casts you, and you spend several weeks of rehearsing, and then maybe at the end you'll feel accomplished...but maybe not. You have to trust your feelings about your performance, or you can trust what other people think about the performance. Some may hate it, some may love it, so who is telling the truth? Why is it so subjective? Why can't everyone think my performance was just as delicious as my cupcakes?

Of course, I haven't even begun to embark on the huge journey that lies ahead of me. But, it'll start with getting my headshots taken...by a professional photographer. I think I've made that decision. It may be the best decision for my career even if it won't be the best decision for my bank account. I looked up photographers in Austin, and I know someone who told me about her good experience with one.

My show opens this Friday through Sunday. I am excited for my friends and family to see me in it because it is different from the past shows they have seen me in. And after Sunday, I'll be able to focus on auditioning for films and building my resume, as well as figuring out my Spring Break plans.

the party don't start 'til i walk in

I need to convince myself of this...maybe not that I start the party...but that people want me at the party. I have always been self-conscious and reserved and at times scared to talk to people, and this whole growing up business is worsening all of this. More than ever I'm feeling like I'm on my own, minus my boyfriend, and graduating from college and being thrown out into the "real world" may be responsible for it. I'll have to find a solo apartment that I will have to pay for entirely on my own. I will have to work 2-3 jobs to pay for said apartment and every other bill in my life while my friends' greatest worries will still be homework for another year. On top of this I'll be forever trying to sell myself as an actress. I know it will pay off, but it's difficult to do so much and be so patient when all I really want is to rest and finally buy my puppy.

Oh, over the break I decided I'm buying a puppy. I know exactly what kind and from where I'm going to buy it. Just because I may have to live alone without people, doesn't mean I have to live alone without a dog. I needs its companionship...or should I say her companionship...because I'll be getting a girl.

My show opens in less than two weeks. Yikes. I'm not saying we're not doing well and aren't entirely on track...because we are. But the two weeks leading up to a show opening are always so hectic because there is always that feeling that more needs to be done and rehearsed. I will gladly enjoy the rest and free time I'll have once the show is over. The past three semesters I've spent rehearsing, so a little break won't hurt. Well, I'll have a break from rehearsing...but that just means more working for more money.

But I am trying to take care of myself. I've worked out 3 of the past 4 days, and if you know me, that is an accomplishment in itself. I hope I can stick to it and not let school and rehearsing give me an excuse not to do it. Working out along with the dance classes I'm taking will hopefully lead me in the right direction. I've been thinking back to high school, more specifically freshman year, and the shape I was in and the flexibility I had and the ability I had to tumble and jump and do everything. It's sad thinking back on it. I feel like an old person. "Oh, back in the day I could do this and this, but now it's unimaginable." Well, it will be imaginable and possible for me. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

I have had five auditions since I've been back in Austin. But I've only gone to three of them. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I've been skipping out. The first one I skipped I made up an excuse as to why I couldn't make it. The second one I skipped I never confirmed I'd be there, so I can't feel bad about it. I shouldn't be doing this, but I need the motivation to keep auditioning even when I don't get cast. I also need to look older, since apparently looking like a teenager is prohibiting me from getting cast. I haven't been taking the rejection as bad as I usually would have, but I'm still not feeling the motivation to audition when I feel like it's inevitable I won't be chosen. Maybe if money were involved, then I'd find that motivation.

it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life

I know I haven't written in a while. I've wanted to, but it's not like I accomplished anything over Christmas break going between McAllen, Houston, and Austin.

Since I've been back to school, I've had one audition for a UT Thesis Film. It was this past weekend, so I haven't heard back about it yet. I hope I will hear back about it...whether or not I get cast. I hate nothing more than when I audition for something and just never hear about the results...good or bad. Okay, I'm lying, I might hate cockroaches more.

Anyway, he said he really liked my delivery and that it seemed like I had really prepared for the audition (if by really prepared he means ten minutes before I leave my apartment...then yes). At least I tricked him.

I looked up and noted all the casting calls in Austin I can submit for (I know I'm ending a sentence with a preposition). The only problem is...I am still not satisfied with any headshot I've taken. Josh quickly took some for me last week, but unless I can discover some Photoshop magic, I still won't be satisfied. I don't know if it's my sickly pale skin that I'm currently sporting or what, but something has got to give. I don't want to spend $500 on headshots that I may not even be happy with or have to retake within the year. I'm pretty sure every one of my posts has to do with headshots and me not having them. I'll have to figure out something to submit for these calls or else I'll miss out. Ugggghhhh.

P.S. My back is KILLING me after wearing my loaded backpack yesterday for a total of ten minutes. I've also been awake since 7 o'clock to go to my Broadway Jazz class and have only eaten 1/3 of a poptart and three pieces of candy all day.
P.S.S. I'm excited for my Ballroom Dance class that I'm also taking...but not my Comedy Acting class.
P.S.S. Rehearsals started back up my first week in Austin. They are fun, and I am excited!